Know me first...

Some people may not understand the way I am. Some people will hate the things I do. Some people may misunderstand the things I say, the way I look, the way I act, the way I communicate to others. Sometimes I think that I don’t belong here. This is their world and not mine. I’m just breathing the air that surrounds them.

It’s hard to face the people who don’t like you. It’s hard to communicate with them when something is running on their minds. It’s difficult to make friends with them even though I know that they don’t even want too. But everyday in my life, I try to make things go right. I know some of them criticize me. But I can’t do anything if that was their thinking of.

Someone told me that some of her friends, some of our classmates, some of the groups in school don’t like me. I’m really shocked when she told me about it. I can’t move my head to look her and even single words won’t come out from my mouth. I just can’t believe that she makes friends with me but she doesn’t like me. She said they don’t like the way I look at them. That she knows that my close friends are criticizing me too. But I know, she just old me about it because she doesn’t know who really I am.

After that day, I ask my 2 friends if they don’t like me. They say, “we like you Mae. We really like the way you are”. I told them that I think I need to change so that everybody will like me. They say, “If you will change everything, you will never be the Mae we’ve know. You don’t need to change just for them. It’s you; it’s the Mae we love. They just don’t know you that much that’s why they are telling you that stupid things”. They are actually right. I don’t need to change. It’s not for them why I live for. My world doesn’t revolve just for them. My world is just revolving for my family and for all my friends who really cares for me. I know what I’m doing anyway. As long I know that I have friends who will stop me if everything goes wrong.

I know that some of the words that come out from my mouth will hurt someone. Like what I’ve told my friend. (Not to mention) but I myself know that it’s my mistake. I really admit it. But it’s true. It’s for her sake. She’s still angry with me until now. But I’m really hoping that she will understand what I really mean. For all the people who don’t like me, I know that you know who you are, one thing I want to say, “Know me first before judging me”. I’m just being myself. I’m not pretending. If you don’t like me my attitude, it’s your problem not mine. As what I’ve said, “If you can’t handle my worst, then you don’t deserve my best”.